A man has discovered that the coastal town where he has lived his entire life is, in fact, an enormous television set, and that every person he has ever known, including his wife, was a paid performer, after growing suspicious of a studio light that fell from the sky during a rainstorm and landed, according to witnesses, “with a very specific kind of clatter.”
The network behind the programme, broadcast continuously for over three decades from thousands of concealed cameras, has confirmed the show will “end naturally now that he knows,” a decision it describes as “always the plan” and, a spokesperson added, unprompted, “absolutely nothing to do with the legal letter.”
“I was genuinely fond of him, contractually and otherwise,” said the man believed to have played his closest friend for the entirety of his life, speaking from what is understood to be his actual, non-televised home. “It wasn't all a performance. Well. Most of it was. But not all of it.”
The network has declined to say what will fill the slot, though insiders describe an early pitch involving a different unsuspecting man in a different town as “very much still on the table, pending how this one plays out publicly.”